I'm watching Titanic right now. Rose kind of reminds me of myself... or maybe I remind myself of Rose. Either way, I can honestly see myself almost committing suicide because of the feeling of being trapped in a world that I don't want to live in.
Though, I don't think I'd ever actually commit suicide. I'd probably just leave and never come back, if push comes to shove.
Honestly, though. I hate all these schedules and familiarities. I hate knowing exactly what I'm going to be doing, and I hate not being allowed to be spontaneous. I can't drive myself anywhere, and I live too far out in the contry to be able to just call someone and say "Hey. Let's go do homework at some coffee shop downtown." The first chance I get, I'm leaving. I mean, I love my family and I would never put them in a position to worry about me. Of course I'd tell them that I'm leaving, but I just want to have that feeling of being on your own and not knowing what the day's going to bring you.
I want to be able to play music on the street for money and live off of that. I want to be able to meet people that I would have never dreamt of meeting in my entire life.
Though, in the same sense, a college dergree would be nessasary for me. So I'd probably have to hold off on this traveling experience until I have my bacholers degree, at least.
And now that I think about it, perhaps I can film a documentary about my travels. I mean, I'd already have a degree in filmmaking, so what better thing to do that make your first film a sort of video diary? That actually sounds like a really great idea.
I believe that I can be independant. I believe that I could spend a year or so traveling europe with nothing but a back pack, a ukulele, and a camera. And as Black Hat says in the film Priest, "I am the bringer of the tide..."
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